The one where the Doctor brings Rose home 12 months late, London thinks aliens have landed, and the government turns out to be wearing zippable human suits powered by flatulence.
Short Synopsis
Rose comes home after what she thinks is a quick jaunt, only to discover she’s been missing for a whole year. Meanwhile, a spaceship crashes into Big Ben, the world panics, and the Doctor discovers the “aliens” running Britain are really gas-bag criminals in borrowed skins.
Extended Storyline
The Doctor promises Rose a quick trip home. Instead of popping back the next morning, he miscalculates — badly. Rose walks into her flat to discover she’s been gone twelve months. Jackie Tyler is furious, convinced Rose was kidnapped, and Mickey has been the prime suspect this whole time. Mickey, poor soul, has spent a year branded “Mickey the Idiot,” haunted by tabloids, and thoroughly traumatized. The Doctor, of course, waves it off with his usual “Oops.”
Before Rose can finish smoothing over her mother’s rage (spoiler: she never really does), London erupts in chaos. A spaceship crashes dramatically into the Thames, clipping Big Ben along the way. Cue one of the most iconic early New Who visuals: Parliament with a smoking hole and a UFO sticking out of the river.
The world goes mad with speculation — news reports, panicking civilians, conspiracy theorists galore. The Doctor, smelling something fishy (well, farty), drags Rose to investigate. They break into a hospital where the alien pilot is being examined… and discover it’s just a pig in a spacesuit. The Doctor instantly realizes it’s a fake crash, a hoax meant to throw humanity off balance. The pig, terrified and out of place, is shot dead by UNIT soldiers, which deeply unsettles Rose. The Doctor explains: “It was scared. Just a kid, miles away from home.” Another small gut-punch to remind us that not all monsters are evil.
Meanwhile, up in government, three very peculiar officials are introduced:
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Joseph Green, Acting Prime Minister.
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Margaret Blaine, a junior MP with a grin far too wide.
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General Asquith, who looks constipated even before the reveal.
They’re part of a family of alien criminals — the Slitheen. Their gimmick? They’re giant green baby-faced creatures who disguise themselves in human “skin suits” that don’t quite fit. The compression process causes… gas build-up.Hence, constant farting. Loud, long, unapologetic farting. On prime-time BBC. Children loved it. Parents groaned. Twitter (well, forums, back then) exploded.
The Doctor quickly realizes the crash is a setup to flush out alien experts like him, and the Slitheen have wormed their way to the very top of Britain’s government. They plan to use Earth’s paranoia against itself — but we don’t get the full scheme until the second half (World War Three). For now, all we know is they’re gleefully evil, they think humans are stupid, and they love dropping trousers (audibly, at least).
The episode ends on a cliffhanger: the Doctor, Rose, and Harriet Jones (MP for Flydale North, remember the name) are trapped inside Downing Street as the Slitheen unzip their human disguises, revealing their true green forms. Rose is in mortal danger, Jackie is screaming into the phone back home, and Mickey is wishing he’d never dated a girl who runs off with time travelers.